Dear Abby: Woman searching for a partner loathes first dates

Dear Abby: I am a 30-year-old woman who very much wants to find someone to share my life and start a family with. The problem is I hate dating, at least the early stages. To me, first dates aren’t exciting; they’re just plain awkward and nerve-wracking.

I have tried everything to change my outlook on dating, but I still go into every first date with the same enthusiasm as I’d have for a root canal. I truly want a partner in life, but I hate first dates so much I Googled, “Is arranged marriage for me?” Please, do you have any tips for how to have a more positive outlook on dating?

— Hates Dating in Maryland

Dear Hates Dating: As a matter of fact, I do. I don’t know what kind of first dates you are having, but it might benefit you to make them more casual — a lunch, a coffee, a movie or some other entertainment, so a conversation won’t become a third degree. Rather than stress, if you regard a first date as a chance to make a new friend rather than an audition for a life partner, you might enjoy it more and so would your date.

Dear Abby: A friend brought a birthday cake to the restaurant where we were all meeting, and served it after the meal. I voiced my concern that it wasn’t fair to the restaurant, since we used extra tableware and dishes for the cake, and deprived them of a possible dessert order. Is what she did acceptable? Or was I out of line to say something? (We left a large tip.)

— No Dessert

Dear No Dessert: If your comments dampened the joy of the occasion, you should have kept your mouth shut. Bringing a cake to a restaurant for a special occasion happens often. However, the polite way to handle it is to first check with the restaurant to be sure they don’t have a policy against it.