Smith: Windsor polishes, prepares for a visit by Her Majesty

Wrong Windsor.

This isn’t the first time that the town between Santa Rosa and Healdsburg has fielded a correspondence intended for a Windsor elsewhere in the world.

But our Windsor was tickled to death by the email sent by David Arnold of England. He wrote days ago that his association, The Corynthians, would hold its annual luncheon in “Windsor Town” on the same day as a visit by Queen Elizabeth.

Mistakenly addressing his email to town officials in California’s Windsor, rather than to those in the Windsor west of London, Arnold inquired whether his members would encounter any road closures or bus-service disruptions due to the presence of the queen.

Arnold’s email arrived at Town Hall in Sonoma County’s Windsor and found its way to Councilman Dominic Foppoli.

Using his best English, Foppoli advised Arnold in an email that it delights the entire Windsor council to know that the queen will be coming through. “I will make sure that we have the town’s finest china prepared,” the councilman wrote.

Foppoli also assured his correspondent that there will be no road closures and that the buses will operate as normal.

In a p.s., Foppoli suggested, “I have a feeling you might also want to check with the council in Windsor, England, about their road closures.”

There’s a castle in that Windsor, but the queen of the United Kingdom should know that this one has Patterson’s Pub.


LOONY POWER: Some folks apparently were suckered by the April 1 announcement by local global-warming foes that the next big thing in alternative power is rooftop panels that harness moonlight.

Ann Hancock, who runs the Santa Rosa-based Center for Climate Protection and passes up no opportunity to incite conversation about reducing greenhouse gases, found that even her dental hygienist was lit up by the prospect of lunar panels.

Close readers of the April Fool’s Day announcement should have been tipped to the gag when they came to the part where economist Dolores Ensense cautions that because moonlight is so much fainter than sunlight, the payback period for lunar panels would be centuries, not years.

“So,” the piece has the economist saying, “you really better like the way they look on your roof, if you ask me.”

Author and Center for Climate Protection manager Woody Hastings didn’t publish the spoof under his own name but chose the nom de plume Lowe N. Erjee.


MAGIC THAT FEEDS: If Ken Garr were able, he’d wave a wand and make homelessness disappear.

That’s outside the repertoire of the veteran Sonoma County magician, so on Saturday, April 16, Garr and some talented friends will use sleight of hand to help treat people on the street to decent, friendly meals.

This makes the 18th year that Garr will perform two benefit magic and comedy shows - one at 3 p.m. and one at 7:30 - at the First United Methodist Church in Santa Rosa. The early show lasts an hour and is targeted to families, the late show runs two hours and is for one and all.

Proceeds will go to Spirit Café, which each Tuesday evening invites people without homes to come into the church and enjoy the simple magic of supper with friends.

Chris Smith is at 521-5211 and

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