Close to Home: End the silence, end the violence

This community was rocked by news that four women accused Windsor Mayor Dominic Foppoli of sexual assault. Elected officials quickly called for his resignation while many began sharing stories about his behavior on various occasions. What is lost in all of the discussion is concern over the well-being of the victims — those who have come forward and others who may not have.

As we recognize Sexual Assault Awareness Month and National Crime Victims Rights Week, we have a timely opportunity to remind our community about resources available to anyone who may have been a victim of sexual assault or any crime of family or interpersonal violence.

The women who bravely shared their stories about Foppoli expressed feelings common to many victims: confusion, shame, self-doubt, a preexisting relationship, believability, the status of the offender in the community or just wanting to move past it. These feelings, and many more, are normal.

We believe there may be other victims who continue to suffer in silence. It’s important to consider that reporting the actions of an offender is the first step in the healing process. Also, some crimes need to be reported within a certain time frame in order to hold the perpetrator accountable.

No one is above the law. We have highly trained, compassionate people ready to let your voice be heard. You are safe to speak your truth.

To victims out there who suffer in silence, please understand it was not your fault. You did not cause or provoke or deserve to be assaulted. You are a survivor, and we are here for you when you are ready. We have amazing nonprofit agencies with 24-hour hot lines, a safe house for victims who need to leave a dangerous situation, a program with services for victims who are experiencing homelessness and the Family Justice Center (fjcsc.org).

The Family Justice Center is where all these services come together to provide assistance at no cost to victims of sexual assault, domestic violence, child abuse or elder abuse. The center’s motto is “You Are Not Alone.” Dedicated advocates stand ready to offer support, wrap around advocacy services and therapy as well as assistance with food and housing needs. The goal is to offer a path out of the darkness for anyone who has been victimized.

When a person is ready to report to a law enforcement agency, officers are trained and stand ready to work alongside advocates to support a victim as the information is provided. The District Attorney’s Office has a dedicated team of experienced prosecutors who handle crimes against vulnerable victims and provides training and advice to law enforcement agencies.

If someone isn’t quite ready to report an incident, they can still get help and resources while remaining confidential. Verity is Sonoma County’s sexual trauma and healing center. Compassion, safety and support are available 24 hours a day at 707-545-7273.

What can we do to stop this violence? It begins with an easy act — if you see something, say something. Never think a simple inquiry — are you OK? — will be a mistake. Even when someone is not ready to talk, they know that you will be there when they’re ready.

We are fortunate to live in a community where resources are plentiful and local law enforcement agencies work collaboratively with victim advocates to ensure that victims’ voices will be heard and their stories won’t go untold. You are not alone; please reach out. By ending the silence, your voice can help end the violence.

Jill Ravitch is Sonoma County district attorney. Marsha Lucien is director of the Family Justice Center. Tatiana Lopez, the district attorney’s victims services director, and Cecile Focha, the chief investigator, contributed to this commentary.

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