Close to Home: Teens need us now more than ever

As a parent, community member and executive director of Chop’s Teen Club, witnessing the trauma young people have endured these past several years, most recently the tragic death of a student at Montgomery High School, breaks my heart.

I’ve seen the impact of increasing violence on school campuses up close and personal, both with my children and teens at Chop’s. When my now 20-year-old son attended Santa Rosa High, there was a lockdown once a year. Today, my 15-year-old experiences two or three each year and is trained to “run, hide, fight.” Escalating anger, aggression, fear and lockdowns have become almost normalized. This is not OK.

Unfortunately, school violence isn’t the only trauma local youth have experienced. There have been multiple wildfires. Add to this the unsettling disruptions created by the pandemic: the challenges of remote learning, social isolation, skyrocketing anxiety and depression. It’s no wonder young people feel unsafe, unmoored, unheard and unsupported.

As with any complex problem, there is no easy solution. Violence and issues around school safety have been brewing for years, and with them growing anxiety among our teens. Schools and law enforcement alone cannot right this ship. Nonprofits must be active participants in a communitywide commitment to helping young people heal.

Now, more than ever, teens need spaces where they feel safe to connect, engage and learn the critically important skills necessary to resolve conflict. They hunger for a sense of community and belonging, and authentic relationships with caring adults who are committed to their social and emotional health as well as their academic success.

I have seen firsthand at Chop’s over the past 20 years what it looks like to provide this safe space for teens. It is not easy, but it is also not terribly complicated. It starts with a recognition that just because children no longer require babysitters in middle and high school, they are not prepared to thrive at home alone after school. Left to their own devices — often because both parents are working multiple jobs to keep up with our exorbitantly high cost of living — teens resort to social media, which provides endless access to troubling material, both real and imagined.

At Chop’s, teens develop trusting relationships with adults who are invested in their well-being. They play basketball, attend culinary classes and create art with the same people who provide academic tutoring and offer to act as a bridge to families or schools when challenging situations arise. With trust established, meaningful conversations and interventions occur that can, and often do, circumnavigate the need for law enforcement to become involved. Chop’s isn’t alone. We are part of a vibrant network of nonprofits throughout the county committed to the health and well-being of our youth.

What happened at Montgomery High is a tragedy. It has illuminated safety concerns that are real and valid. Now isn’t the time to retreat to our silos — schools, police, nonprofits. Now is the time to double down on our commitment to standing with young people — making them feel safe, valued and supported — because teens need us now more than ever.

Melissa Stewart is executive director of Chop’s Teen Club in Santa Rosa.

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