Dear Abby: Friends worry about family living among clutter

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Dear Abby: I have a close friend who is an extreme hoarder. She and her husband have a beautiful, large, custom-built home that is stacked floor to ceiling with clutter.

There are only narrow paths to walk around. Clothes, papers, toys, etc. are piled everywhere. Normally, I would mind my own business, but they have four children at home. The children are getting to the age where they are embarrassed about their home. It is so bad they can’t invite friends over.

When we discuss the condition of the place with her and her husband, they get defensive and say they just don’t have time. They do both work full time, and their time off is usually spent shuttling the children to activities. Overall, they are excellent parents, and the children are loved and cared for, but the condition of their house is worse each time I see it, and they continue to buy more and more stuff. Last time I helped clear out a room, it was full of clutter a few weeks later. What can I do to help? Should I stay out of it? Should I contact CPS?

— Clutter Everywhere

Dear Clutter Everywhere: Because you say the children are loved and cared for, instead of contacting Child Protective Services, I suggest you quietly place a call to the Health Department for guidance. From your description, the “beautiful, large, custom-built” home may be a fire hazard and possibly a danger to the family’s health if there are “critters” also living in that mess. Whether their problem is the result of depression or simply gross disorganization, they do need an intervention for their children’s sake.

Good advice for everyone — teens to seniors — is in “The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It.”

To order, send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

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