Dear Abby: Woman’s focus on fitness is hard for friend to bear
Dear Abby: I’ve been friends with “Lorraine” for 30 years. Actually, the friendship is kind of one-sided because she bugs the hell out of me.
She’s a super-skinny health nut who constantly posts health advice and “uplifting” mantras on social media. Her Instagram feed is filled with pictures of her bland-looking vegan food and her doing yoga poses or running 5Ks in midriff tops so we can all see her six-pack abs. She regularly donates blood plasma and posts pictures of that, too.
Dining with her is embarrassing because she grills the waiters on how the food is prepared, even in vegan restaurants that list all ingredients. She comes off — to me, anyway — as thinking she has every facet of life figured out. She has been married twice to two jerks, keeps breaking and making up with “Harry,” a seemingly nice guy, because he’s fat (he’s slightly plump yet attractive) and drinks too much (not sure about that). Her son, whom she treated as an annoyance and inconvenience when he was young, is now a gun-toting drug dealer.
I’m not perfect, but I don’t portray myself as otherwise. My husband, a nicer person than I am, doesn’t understand my resentment of Lorraine and keeps reminding me how much she loves me. She does. We’re both in our 50s, but I feel like I’ve outgrown our friendship.
By the way, I don’t think I’m jealous of her because I’m very happy in my marriage and feel that I am more attractive than she is. Must I stay friends with Lorraine? If not, how do I end it?
— Canceling Her in Kansas City
Dear Canceling: It appears you have a love/hate relationship with Lorraine. Nothing is wrong with you, and no law says you must maintain a friendship with her. When contact becomes more of an annoyance than a pleasure, many people begin editing their circle of acquaintances. The way to end your relationship with her would be to make yourself less available when she calls or wants to get together. If she asks you why, explain that you have fewer of the same interests than you used to, while omitting the part about her six-pack abs.
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