Subscribe

Dear Abby: Security camera captures angry man’s hourlong rant

The "Follow This Story" feature will notify you when any articles related to this story are posted.

When you follow a story, the next time a related article is published — it could be days, weeks or months — you'll receive an email informing you of the update.

If you no longer want to follow a story, click the "Unfollow" link on that story. There's also an "Unfollow" link in every email notification we send you.

This tool is available only to subscribers; please make sure you're logged in if you want to follow a story.

Please note: This feature is available only to subscribers; make sure you're logged in if you want to follow a story.

Subscribe

Dear Abby: A few weeks ago, my husband and I had what I thought was a minor conflict, from which I walked away to avoid escalation. I could hear him continuing to rant, so I pulled up the security camera on my phone and watched and listened as he continued to say horrible things for an hour or more. He called me a disgusting blob, said there is nothing appealing about me, and I should go out in the yard and kill myself just like my father did.

The words were so painful that I began to sob uncontrollably and screamed in anguish. He never came to console me. In fact, he told me to “shut up.” I’m not a crier, typically, so his blatant disregard for the effect his words had on me raises another level of concern.

We have since discussed the event, and his first defense was to say he didn’t know I could hear him. Meanwhile, I have to live with the fact that I’m married to a man who has such a low opinion of me that he thinks I should kill myself.

I have no family, and I’m hesitant to upend a life that is finally stable after a chaotic childhood and early adulthood. My husband isn’t typically abusive, but this incident has me questioning everything. We have been together for 22 years and married for nearly 16 with no children. What are your thoughts?

— Thrown into Turmoil

Dear Thrown: My first thought is that you and your husband need to find a healthier way to deal with your “conflicts” than your walking out on him, and him saying nasty things into a camera knowing full well he might be heard. If your definition of stability is tolerating further verbal abuse, then you are — and will be — paying a high price for it.

I sincerely hope the two of you will try to iron out your differences with the help of a licensed marriage and family therapist.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in “What Every Teen Should Know.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447.

Please read our commenting policy
  • No profanity, abuse, racism, hate speech or personal attacks on others.
  • No spam or off-topic posts. Keep the conversation to the theme of the article.
  • No disinformation about current events. Claims of "Fake News" will be delayed for moderation
  • No name calling. "Orange Menace", "Libtards", etc. are not respectful.
Send a letter to the editor

Our Network

Sonoma Index-Tribune
Petaluma Argus Courier
North Bay Business Journal
Sonoma Magazine
Bite Club Eats
La Prensa Sonoma
Emerald Report
Spirited Magazine