Dear Abby: My brother-in-law found out I smoke marijuana. I have a medical card and some mental disabilities. Marijuana helps with my anxiety.

Although we live near each other, my in-laws now say they don’t want me in their homes. The stress this has put on my husband is unfair. His brother obviously has a problem with me.

I never discuss marijuana with anyone and don’t carry it around with me. I use it only in the privacy of my home. How should I expect my husband to handle holidays or even regular get-togethers? I really need help.

— Unfair in Nevada

Dear Unfair: Medical and recreational marijuana are legal for adults in the state of Nevada. I wish you had mentioned how your brother-in-law learned you are using it. That it is being used as an excuse to isolate you is cruel.

How your husband chooses to handle further contact with his relatives will be his personal decision. Not knowing how close they have been, I can’t guess what his next step should be — except to point out that his first loyalty should be to you.


Dear Abby: I’m a sophomore in high school, and I need some boy help. I go to a small school, where there are only 60 sophomores, and we’re all pretty close.

There’s this one guy that I kind of like, but I don’t know how to strike up a conversation with him. I know I could ask him for rides to places, since he can drive and I can’t yet.

My problem is I have no classes with him this year, so I can’t do any of the “can you help me with homework” or “did you understand this concept” flirting. He invites me to his parties, but he does that with almost everyone.

I know this is a bit of a random jumble of a letter, but I’m hoping for advice on how to start a conversation, especially because we share no classes.

— Small School Problem

Dear Small School Problem: Discuss current events, pop culture or school activities. Tell him about things you like. Because many high school-age boys are interested in sports, find out which ones he’s interested in and ask questions about those. Unless he’s sports-averse, I can almost guarantee it’ll generate conversation.

Wildlife on your property?

If it is a large or potentially dangerous animal like a fox or raccoon, don’t go near it. Call Animal Control at 565-7100 0r 911.

If a small animal like a skunk or a rat appears to be in trouble, call Sonoma County Wildlife Rescue at 526-WILD for instructions.

If a bird is in trouble, call Sonoma County Bird Rescue Center at 523-2473.

To control gophers: Mole Max is good for organic gardens. Buy an owl box to provide good habitat for a local owl family.

To control deer: As much as possible, buy deer-resistant plants. If putting up fencing, do so responsibly. Don’t cut off a game trail that leads to water, or you may create more problems than you solve.

To control rodent infestations: If any new water leaks appear in or around your house, investigate to be sure they are not being caused by rats or mice seeking water. If they have been gnawing on pipes or drip lines, call an exterminator immediately.

(Sources: Harmony Farms, Sebastopol; Creative Environments, landscapers, Sebastopol; Animal Abatement, Santa Rosa; Sonoma County Animal Services; Sonoma County Wildlife Rescue, Petaluma.)