Dear Abby: Child’s birth reawakens memories of abuse in dad

Dear Abby: My husband and I are proud parents of our first child, a girl. Despite his excitement and pride, her arrival has caused his childhood sexual abuse by his stepfather to resurface with more detail than he remembered. It has reached the point that if he isn’t thinking about suicide, he’s grilling me for reasons why I love him.

He recently told me he’s afraid of holding our 4-month-old daughter or changing her diaper in case he does something abusive by mistake. Besides constant reassurances and encouragement, how can I help the man I love when he refuses the outside help denied to him as a child?

- Worried Wife in Mississippi

Dear Worried Wife: It is extremely important that your husband get professional help NOW! What his stepfather did was not his fault. He may think he’s unlovable because he somehow blames himself for what happened to him.

There are at least nine rape treatment centers throughout the state of Mississippi. Your husband needs to go to one before he does something to hurt himself. If he won’t do it for himself, then he should do it for the sake of his daughter, who needs him, and his wife, who adores him.