Dear Abby: Lately I have been feeling torn between staying in my relationship or leaving. I have always maintained I was doing the right thing for my kids by staying with their father. He’s a good man, but he has always said he never wanted kids. At times he can be a really fun father, however, more often than not, he chooses not to do things with us.
I don’t want my kids to miss out on a full and memorable childhood, but he is more focused on his own wants and needs. We have a family vacation trip planned with my family, and he has chosen not to go and instead take a week for himself to do what he wants to do.
I want my kids to have a father who wants to be in their lives and do things with them, but this doesn’t seem to be what he wants. I don’t know what to do. Help.
— Wants What’s Best in Idaho
Dear Wants: If your partner made clear that he didn’t want children, how is it that you had at least two with him? If you leave him so your children will have a father who wants to be in their lives, how do you plan to conjure one up?
What you need to do is evaluate your options and not overreact. Discuss this with someone who is rational and unbiased. You didn’t list any of the positive traits this “good man” possesses. Be careful before making any rash decisions.