Dear Abby: Cousin, 5, accuses our son, 9, of inappropriate touching

The "Follow This Story" feature will notify you when any articles related to this story are posted.

When you follow a story, the next time a related article is published — it could be days, weeks or months — you'll receive an email informing you of the update.

If you no longer want to follow a story, click the "Unfollow" link on that story. There's also an "Unfollow" link in every email notification we send you.

This tool is available only to subscribers; please make sure you're logged in if you want to follow a story.

Please note: This feature is available only to subscribers; make sure you're logged in if you want to follow a story.

Subscribe

Dear Abby: My brother and sister-in-law recently told me their 5-year-old son claims my 9-year-old son touched him inappropriately on several occasions. Understanding that any parent believes what their child says, I asked my son if he has ever touched or done anything inappropriate to anyone. His response was, “Why would I do that?”

My husband and I asked our son about it on several different occasions and got the same answer. Not wanting to pressure him to the point of coercion and force him to admit to something he did not do, I accepted his denials.

My brother and his wife are convinced my son did these heinous things to their son. What more is there for me to do? My son and I are now being shunned and barred from being around any of my brother’s kids.

— Shunned in Colorado

Dear Shunned: A young child might make a statement like the one your nephew did to get attention, get the other child in trouble OR because he is being touched inappropriately by someone else. This certainly bears further exploration, and the people who should do that are your brother and his wife.

If your son ends up being guilty, then you and your husband must investigate where this behavior came from and get him professional help. Until this is resolved, the children should be kept apart.

Dear Abby: I get my hair done at the local beauty school. When I pay, there is no room on the bill to leave a tip. Is it OK not to tip these people because they are in school, or should I plan on bringing cash with me next time?

— Wondering in California

Dear Wondering: If you like the service the student performed, show your gratitude (and respect!) by bringing along enough money to tip him or her. That’s what I would do, as long as there is no school rule that forbids it.

Show Comment

Our Network

Sonoma Index-Tribune
Petaluma Argus Courier
North Bay Business Journal
Sonoma Magazine
Bite Club Eats
La Prensa Sonoma
Emerald Report
Spirited Magazine