Dear Abby: Friend declines to attend wedding she doesn’t support

Dear Abby: My dear friend of many years is marrying for the fourth time. Her fiance is verbally abusive and a heavy drinker. After a particularly bad period she went through with him, I told her that if she went ahead and married him, she should just let me know when it was over because I had no desire to witness this union.

Well, she called me a few days ago with the date, assuming I was going to go. When I reminded her of what I had said, she said she hadn't believed me. She wasn't happy about my refusal to go, but seems to have accepted it. My question is, do I need to acknowledge this wedding with a card or just let the day pass?

- Not a Fan of the Man

Dear Not a Fan: Be prepared for the fact that your decision not to attend her wedding may result in distancing you from your friend. Send a sweet card with your good wishes. Then cross your fingers.

Dear Abby: My family and I are set to take a weeklong vacation with another family this summer. We will be renting a house. What is the appropriate split for the rental fee? My wife and I have four children; the other couple has two. All of the children are under the age of 8.

I think my wife and I should pay more because our family is larger. My wife agrees, but isn't sure what the split should be. The other couple wants to pay 50/50, saying the children are so little they shouldn't be considered in the cost of the trip. I think an appropriate compromise would be for each family to pay half the rental, but my wife and I pay for all of the food. What do you think?

- Happy Problem

Dear Happy Problem: I think it would be appropriate to offer a split of 60/40. That way you would be paying a little bit extra. However, if they still prefer splitting it in half, you should agree rather than argue.