Dear Abby: How to explain to your son his uncle is gay

The "Follow This Story" feature will notify you when any articles related to this story are posted.

When you follow a story, the next time a related article is published — it could be days, weeks or months — you'll receive an email informing you of the update.

If you no longer want to follow a story, click the "Unfollow" link on that story. There's also an "Unfollow" link in every email notification we send you.

This tool is available only to subscribers; please make sure you're logged in if you want to follow a story.

Please note: This feature is available only to subscribers; make sure you're logged in if you want to follow a story.

Subscribe

Dear Abby: My brother, “Kevin,” came out at the age of 30. Now, 20 years later, I have a son who would like to stay with my brother for a few months while working a job nearby. We have never discussed that Kevin is gay. I had no idea when he came out to me. No one ever asked me about it other than my mother, who goes on and on when we are alone about “how could this have happened?”

The news did not change anything for me. I love my brother for the kind, loving, hardworking person he is. He is always welcome in my home, but my parents refuse to accept any of his friends, so he never brings anyone along. People still sometimes ask me if they can set up a girl for Kevin to date, so I don’t think most people know he is gay. He told me that if anyone questioned me about his sexual orientation to tell them to ask him in person, so it’s a topic I never bring up.

Should I talk to my son about his uncle being gay before he moves in with him? My brother lives alone with his dog in a nice house with extra rooms.

— Cautious in Pennsylvania

Dear Cautious: Talking to your son may not be necessary. If he and his uncle have agreed on the living arrangement, the chances are good that the subject has already been mentioned or is not an issue.

Dear Abby: Please help settle a debate, and let me know if I am right or wrong. Is it rude to drop my girlfriend off at the door of a restaurant and go and park the car? When I walk in, she is already seated, and I have to go and look for her.

— Rude in Michigan

Dear Rude: If the weather is bad, leaving your girlfriend at the door of the restaurant while you park the car is considerate. If having to look for her bothers you, she should tell the host or hostess that her friend will be in in a minute and to please let him know where she is seated. Her being seated is actually a help. She should also keep her eye on the front door and, when you come through, flag you to where she is sitting.

Good advice for everyone — teens to seniors — is in “The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal WithIt.” To order, send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

Our Network

Sonoma Index-Tribune
Petaluma Argus Courier
North Bay Business Journal
Sonoma Magazine
Bite Club Eats
La Prensa Sonoma
Emerald Report
Spirited Magazine