Rebuilding Sonoma County: Santa Rosans reflect on living through aftermath of fires

We asked Santa Rosa residents affected by the October fires to share their experiences of living through the past year. Here are their first-person accounts, condensed from interviews.

Megan and Matt Condron

Ages: 38 and 41

Before the fire, our world was simple. Emotionally, the past year has been a roller coaster. We saw beauty in the human spirit, generosity and resilience amongst the sadness and loss. And while I truly value being able to share this tragedy with our friends and family and feel that our sense of community is stronger than ever, it is also very tricky to navigate everyone's emotions and how each person deals with the event differently.

I am particularly saddened for the youth of Santa Rosa who all lost a small piece of their innocence that night. Each child was awoken from their bed, some in a calm fashion, others more frantically. Whether they learned that they lost everything the next morning or not, the experience of evacuating and the aftermath of the destruction will remain with them for a long time. The fire was also a reminder that nothing is guaranteed. Live for today because you never know what tomorrow will hold.

Dr. Heather J. Furnas

Age: 61

When we learned that most of our friends fled their houses with nothing, some barely escaping with their lives, we felt lucky to each have a suitcase and a laptop. I look at everything that was in that suitcase with a certain reverence. They're all that's left from my pre-fire life.

In many ways we are fortunate, but coming to grips with all that we have lost has still been difficult. Early on, the loss of those memories was so intense, it felt as if a part of me had died. But I'm particularly grateful that I didn't lose a loved one or a pet, and I never had to experience escaping for my life.

I dearly miss my house, my garden, the breathtaking views, my walks and my friends. Many of my close group of friends have scattered north and south like seeds blown by the wind. I lost not just a home, but a community. We get together much less frequently now that we live so far from each other, but when we do, we feel a particularly strong bond.

I find it's hard to buy things because I don't really want things. The things I lost were associated with my life, my travels, my family, my memories. I find I drink up the present more, since it's painful to look back, and the future is so unknown. I treasure each day I'm alive, each day I have with husband, and each day my kids share their news. These days will become memories themselves, and someday I know I will pull some pearls from the experience, but right now I'm adjusting to the grains of sand inside my shell.

Jessie Cahill

We have until Dec. 15. That is hopefully the day we'll be in (our rebuilt home). It's really exciting, but it's been a long process. I just want to go home. It's hard at times. But, I realize how important life is now, and I just really enjoy it now. That night me and my mom almost lost our lives. I didn't realize how crazy it was that night until I watched videos of the flames. I still think: ‘Wow, I was in that.'

The low point is how slow this is all going, and we're going to be one of the first to finish rebuilding. It's another holiday not at home, another birthday for me not at home. It sucks. I'm living in a trailer, but it's not really my home. I go by (my house) every day. There is a lot of progress going on in the neighborhood right now, so I drive by just to see it. During the summertime, I would go by more often. I would go in the morning, during my lunch break and after. I just want to see everything changing. It was so long not seeing any progress and now seeing all of this, it's a lot more exciting.

Tom Schwedhelm

Age: 58

I still remember that Monday morning walking back in the neighborhood. I'm coming down Coffey Lane, and I'm seeing that all the houses are gone. I'm walking down with my nephew and he says, “Uncle Tom, I don't have a good feeling about this.” Walking around the corner, seeing my house (which survived), I just thought: Wow. But then you have the devastation and grief walking through the neighborhood. I've lived in that part of town 30 years. You see friends whose houses are totally gone. Our first house we bought was gone and the only way I was able to find it was by the markings on the street.

Now people have to pick an architect, pick a designer. We are trying to rebuild our community. All of that information is overwhelming, while they're still living with the grief of losing everything that is in that home, so it's challenging. You'd be amazed at the things that are popping up that we never anticipated popping up. It'll be a challenge for the next five to 10 years.

Cary Ann Rich

Age: 55

We have yet to grieve our losses, mourn the changes or even adequately acknowledge the huge tragedy we survived. We lost our home and business and have spent the last year trying to get our business operational at previous capacity. We are still living in an RV on a friend's property because all of our energy has been consumed by getting our business back. Although we are on track to complete all provisions, we have lost almost 75 percent of our income, which created an enormous hardship on us.

Fleeing our home at 1:05 a.m. on the morning of Monday, Oct. 9, from the Larkfield-Wikiup area will be forever etched in our minds. Life is not normal for us. I'm not even sure if it ever will be. Yes, we have some semblance of a routine, but it's just not the same. Life was simple, and now? Not so much. We have received tremendous support from our community, and we are truly thankful with a grateful heart. Even with the outpouring of love and support, life goes on and, eventually, for those that were not directly impacted, the trauma fades to the back of the mind. For us, the crisis is not yet over.