Straight Talk: What to do about ‘man boobs’

Teens with ‘moobs’ are prime targets for high school bullies.|

DEAR STRAIGHT TALK: Your recent column about girls worried about being flat-chested compares nothing to the troubles for guys who are not.

Guys with man boobs are among the most persecuted in high school.

I was a chubby kid and my “moobs” came on during puberty. Even though I’ve lost most of the weight, the moobs remain.

Guys grab them, call me “Tits” (including in front of “blind” teachers), and mock me online.

Girls laugh at me, too. (I now understand how women feel objectified with guys assuming the right to grab or talk about their bodies.)

Most guys with gynecomastia have too much shame to ask for surgery. My stepfather bullies me over it. Most of us avoid athletics, collapse our posture, or eat to escape.

- Brian, 17, Eugene, Oregon

Breele, 21, Los Angeles: I owe you an apology. In eighth grade, a boy had breast buds and another guy commented (to us both) that his boobs were bigger than mine and we both laughed at him.

I’m so ashamed - I’ve got the worst stomach churn right now.

Today, I’d rather be a loner if being cruel is what occupies people’s minds. Millions of men have surgery for gynecomastia so do not be ashamed about it .

Get work, save money, and the summer before college, start a new life! Use this time for self-development.

Read the news, take up fencing or another athletic skill, dump video games and porn (if applicable).

After surgery, your skill set and interesting mind will further your confidence.

What will other kids add to their résumé?

Bad habits and knocking people?

Samantha, 23, Toledo, Ohio: I’m sorry for the ridicule you face and am disgusted by the bullying. Are they unaware of its connection to depression and suicide?

I encourage you to find someone kind and trusting to talk to - the school counselor, for one. Also, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself.

My boyfriend is down on himself because he feels overweight and has moobs.

I’m always telling him to love himself. He still takes his shirt off, runs and swims.

He’s got enough trust to share his insecurities with me and enough confidence to not care what others think. Fake it till you make it.

Elle, 19, Boca Raton, Florida: I suggest joining an online support group for gynecomastia and a youth group, even if you’re not religious.

Most are supportive and uplifting with leaders trained in empowering young adults. Taking positive action really helps.

Victors take action, victims remain inert.

Meghan, 19, State College, Pennsylvania: I’m one of those flat-chested girls who felt bad about herself. The struggle ultimately strengthened me, but I’m ashamed to say that during my insecure years, I probably snickered and commented about your condition.

In high school everyone is so unhappy with their bodies they belittle others to feel better. The adults you describe remained juveniles.

Make a plan. What is best for you? Standing up to your peers, stepdad, the sophomoric teachers, and/or ignoring them all and getting surgery on your own terms?

You have a life ahead of you.

DEAR BRIAN: Self-development and a positive action plan will boost mental health and I hope the panelists’ ideas are helpful.

A full 36 percent of teen boys have gynecomastia. In 75 percent of cases, it goes away by adulthood as estrogen drops off.

For those with severe cases, society is cruel and I support you in getting the simple, permanent gynecomastia surgery.

If you can bear it, ask your mom or bio-father privately for surgery; it is often covered by insurance.

Until then, or you get surgery on your own, meeting with the school counselor will further raise self-esteem from the inside - and wearing a compression shirt will from the outside.

Ask a question at StraightTalkAdvice.org or P.O. Box 1974, Sebastopol, CA 95473.

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