Mark Spaulding

Mark Spaulding, a master of charitable fundraising who helped connect donors to Sonoma State University, United Way, the Wells Fargo Center for the Arts and myriad other nonprofit endeavors, died Saturday at age 64.

Remembered as a generous mentor and networker fueled by a desire to help people link up with work and relationships that might allow them to thrive, Spaulding dealt with cancer for most of the past three years.

In his free time, the 30-year resident of Santa Rosa was happiest fishing, cheering the Giants or creating his nearly famous mixed grill on the barbecue.

Though Spaulding had no professional connection to the Children's Museum of Sonoma County, the first phase of which has just opened in Santa Rosa, founder Collette Michaud said his counsel and encouragement regarding fundraising were key.

"He was just a really, really good friend to me at a time that was scary and tough," Michaud said. "He helped give me the confidence and support that I needed."

Early in his career in nonprofit fund development, Spaulding was central to a historically successful campaign by United Way of Sonoma-Lake-Mendocino. Yale Abrams, who directed the agency at the time, said Spaulding was reliably good-humored and "willing to do just about whatever it took to support the cause."

One of Spaulding's six siblings, Santa Rosa attorney and justice activist Greg Spaulding, said, "Every nonprofit board I've ever served on has benefited from him because I would take him to lunch and pick his brain about doing better at raising money."

In recent years, Mark Spaulding advised nonprofit organizations on fund development and other aspects of operation through his own firm, Spaulding Consulting Group.

Longtime friend and fishing buddy Greg Steele, also a former fundraising partner at United Way, cited Spaulding's perfect willingness to toil in the background and let others take the credit for the success of campaigns.

"He was very unselfish," said Steele, who lives in Santa Rosa. He added that as a lover of fishing eager to share his expertise, his friend was "a catch-and-release sort of guy."

Though riding a bicycle wasn't Spaulding's thing, the devoted angler would on occasion submit to organized or informal rides with his wife of 40 years, Roberta Delgado. "That was something I kind of dragged him into," she said.

Mark Edward Spaulding was born in Buffalo, N.Y., in 1949. His was a military family that moved every three years.

An athletic kid, he made an all-star team playing baseball in Hawaii and took home many ribbons and trophies from swim and dive meets in Virginia.

Rather than risk being drafted during the Vietnam War, Spaulding enlisted in the Air Force. He was stationed at Beale Air Force Base near Marysville when he met and fell in love with Delgado, a neighbor at his apartment house.

They married and moved to north of Fort Bragg after Spaulding received an honorable discharge from the Air Force as a conscientious objector. He took work in a hardware store, sold objects he created of redwood burls and became active in Flower of the Dragon, a service organization of Vietnam-era veterans.

Spaulding and Delgado moved to Santa Rosa in 1983. He took college classes and worked for early cellphone companies before hiring on at the former Circuit City electronics store, rising to the position of operations manager.

An interest in nonprofit fund development led him to volunteer for Canine Companions for Independence and then for United Way. Hired on by Abrams, his success at fundraising led to his promotion in 1997 to the regional United Way operation's vice president for resource development and marketing.

Spaulding moved from there to executive-level development positions at the Wells Fargo Center and Sonoma State University. He also created a networking organization to help people in search of work or advancement to link and share information.

His wife said that, over the years, good friends planning weddings discovered that he made the perfect best man -- good-humored, satisfied to be a groom's right-hand guy and delighted by the opportunity to help human beings connect.

"He didn't want to be the one who was out front," Delgado said. "He was always somebody's best man."

In addition to his wife and brother in Santa Rosa, Spaulding is survived by his daughter, Isabel Anderson of Pinole; siblings Andrew Spaulding of Los Angeles, Julie Paradis of Alexandria, Va.; Douglas Spaulding of Burke, Va.; Suzanne Spaulding of McLean, Va., and Paul Spaulding of Chester, Va.; and two grandsons.

There will be a celebration of his life in July.

Spaulding's family suggests memorial contributions to a favorite Sonoma County nonprofit organization.