A retired pharmacist and father of six, Bill Burk has never experienced the empty nest syndrome. It’s been decades since his last child moved out, but the family home in Petaluma is like a magnet for the close-knit Burks.
It’s a rare weekend or weeknight when one of his grown kids or their spouses doesn’t stop by to watch a Giants game, cook dinner together or seek some sound advice.
The senior Burk, 82, shares a tight bond with the entire family, sons- and daughters-in-law included. Their love, admiration and respect for Burk has only deepened in recent years as he’s coped with the devastating loss of his wife of 56 years, Carol.
He was her primary caregiver as she struggled with the debilitating effects of primary progressive multiple sclerosis, which over four decades robbed her of her ability to walk and care for herself. She died nearly four years ago, leaving an enormous void within the family.
“When Mom passed, at one point Dad thought we’d drift apart,” daughter Marie McCarville said. “He’s just as much the glue. It was them together. We’ll always be close, even when Dad is gone.”
She and her siblings credit their father with setting an example of love, loyalty and grace at its purest. Never once, they say, did their father express anger, frustration or resentment as his wife’s disease progressed.
He retired 20 years ago to care for her full time, worried that his children were spending too much time aiding their mother when they were pursuing careers and starting families.
Raising independent kids was always a desire for the couple.
“I think we wanted very much for them to become independent, because at some point we’re not going to be around,” Burk said. He paused to laugh. “We almost overdid that.”
His children all have college degrees, professional jobs and a wide range of talents and interests that developed when they were students in elementary and high school at St. Vincent’s parochial school in Petaluma.
Teri Burk, 58, is a physical therapist who practices in Petaluma and Sebastopol, where she resides. Kathy Burk-Hise, 57, lives in Idaho and is an architectural historian. Bill Burk, 56, and Mike Burk, 55, are both engineers in Southern California. Penngrove resident McCarville, 53, is a geologist. Kelly Burk, 51, lives in Sebastopol and is a singer-songwriter and actress with a day job as a project manager in a municipal building department.
The family includes seven grandchildren and three young great-grandchildren living across California, but none farther than a phone call away from Grandpa Burk.
It’s a relief to him that his family still gravitates home.
“I just like to have family around,” he said. “I enjoy having them here.”
Although his children may disagree, he insists they are the ones who’ve inspired him.
“I’ve actually learned more from them than they did from me,” he said.
Burk acknowledges he wasn’t around the house much when his children were growing up. He often worked six days a week, typically 10 or 12 hours, filling prescriptions at a local drugstore, explaining medications and reassuring customers — and then racing home at bedtime to kiss his kids goodnight.