Gullixson: All the things they cannot see

“Education is about turning mirrors into windows for students.”

- SRJC President Frank Chong, sharing a quote from Vice President Joe Biden

Visitors to the Gullixson household didn’t have to look hard this past week to see evidence of a waning school year.

On Wednesday, trays of newly baked muffins for end-of-semester celebrations decorated the kitchen counter. Long stems of freshly cut lavender - our homegrown contribution to decorations for Clara’s sixth-grade promotion - rested on the breakfast room table. Nearby, gift cards were fanned out on a tablet with large printed instructions to Christopher, our sophomore, that they needed to find their way to his teachers - preferably before fall.

And then there were all the other rudimentary signals of a year coming to a close: Library books stacked by the front door waiting to be returned, drafts of essays scattered near the family computer and invitations to sundry celebrations clinging to our appliances and to our memories by the magic of refrigerator magnets.

But there are signs of summer as well, most notably a copy of “All the Light We Cannot See” resting atop the dining room table, beckoning me to find a clean, well-cushioned place. For those who aren’t aware, this is the story of a blind French girl and a young German man seeking to survive amid the chaos and devastation of World War II. I can’t relate to the terror of being sightless in a world where bombs fall like hail. But I can relate to chaos and the search, each day, for firm footing and clear direction. It’s called parenthood.

And it’s hard.

But then, by the grace of God, the school year comes to an end. And suddenly all seems right with the universe.

There are many things that we’re guilty of over-celebrating as part of the American experience. Birthdays for one. Halloween for another. Same is true for New Year’s Eve. We break out noisemakers and tiaras in observance of turning a page in a calendar. But there’s no triumph in that.

The things that really deserve celebration are the things that take work, like anniversaries. Like landing a job or getting a promotion. Like completing another school year.

This year, some 4,500 students have graduated or will be graduating from high school in Sonoma County. Most of those ceremonies occurred on Friday. (And I’m proud to say that that this newspaper has been covering all of them. Check out the photo galleries on pressdemocrat.com)

If trends hold, roughly 82 percent of those students entered high school just four years ago. As graduation rates go, that’s not bad. It’s better than the state average of 80.8 percent, and it’s up from less than 75 percent for the county just four years ago. That alone is something worth celebrating. But it’s not just the graduates who deserve attention. Everybody who gets through the school year deserves applause these days.

School is hard - far harder than it was for many of us in our younger days. There’s more work now. More choices. There’s more riding on every exam, every grade. Or at least it seems that way.

The football field where I graduated from high school long ago is next to the railroad tracks that cut through the heart of Palo Alto, a heart that is breaking. Since October, four teenagers have taken their own lives by jumping in front of that train, a trend that has torn the town apart and drawn national attention.

I can’t imagine the darkness that compels students to take that course. But I understand the stress. I’ve seen it in our high school teens here in Santa Rosa. To borrow from the quote above by Joe Biden, it’s the kind of darkness that turns mirrors into walls, and makes everything suddenly look like a dead end.

This is not just Palo Alto’s problem. The national suicide rate among young students - those ages 15 to 24 - has tripled since the 1950s. A recent survey by the American Psychological Association found that 30 percent of teens reported feeling sad or depressed because of stress. Thirty-one percent said they felt overwhelmed by everything. In fact, during the school year, teens reported a stress level that was higher than levels reported by adults during the same period.

We need to find better ways of communicating with teens, especially our own, that there’s more to life than getting top grades and getting into top colleges - and that there’s always a way out of dark holes like this.

Psychologists note that the best thing we can do for them is to make sure they have healthy connections. Studies show that students experience more positive outcomes and experience less anxiety when they feel connected to their school, teachers, mentors, friends and family.

I thought of all this as I watched Clara, clad in a dress the color of apricots, walk across a stage Thursday to receive a certificate marking her completion of sixth grade. Yes, I’m proud of what she has achieved as a student and a little nostalgic that our days of field trips and dioramas are now behind us. (No, I won’t miss all that glue.) But what I’m most thankful for is that she enters these potentially troubling middle school years with a healthy head start, one all kids should have.

She has friends who cry with excitement over one another’s accomplishments. She has a brother who watches over her, who has coached her in sports and assisted her with homework and projects. And she has the support of fine teachers, neighbors and family friends who have helped her in a thousand ways she can’t really see right now - but maybe she will someday.

For now, all she seems to sense are the things of the moment, like muffins, lavender and the smells of a beckoning summer.