Benefield: When a postgame handshake is too controversial

It was a civilized moment after a most uncivilized game.

Montgomery boys soccer team captain Carson Wyatt had just led his team through postgame handshakes after the Vikings’ 3-2 win against the Rancho Cotate Cougars Monday night. The game, a marquee North Bay League matchup of two of the area’s best teams, was marred by fouls and poor sportsmanship.

Still, when Wyatt shook the last of the Rancho players’ hands, he turned toward the three officials standing together nearby. He asked if the players could approach to shake hands. The referees, who had been vilified from the sidelines and stands all night, politely declined.

The moment was striking.

After what was a cringe-worthy 80-minute game under stormy skies in Rohnert Park, I thought I might see a ray of hope for sportsmanship embodied in that handshake.

Nope.

I have since come to learn that North Coast Section and California Interscholastic Federation administrators have for years pressed referees to leave the field of play immediately after the competition is over. The intention is to minimize post-game conflict. But the result seems to steer athletes away from lessons in sportsmanship and perspective.

Soccer officials have been the longest holdout. Officials in basketball, football and other sports long ago heeded the message to skedaddle. But soccer officials - according to Harry Schrauth, the NCS coordinator of officials - have taken longer to accept the new normal.

And unfortunately, soccer is the sport in need of the biggest injection of civility and sportsmanship. Of the nine sports the North Coast Section tracks for ejections, soccer accounts for 25 percent of people getting tossed.

Schrauth and others believe referees keep themselves and others safe by leaving immediately, taking with them the temptation of a player, coach or parent to make one final point, offer one last critique or worse. But they also take with them the opportunity for athletes and coaches to shake their hands, offer appreciation and accept the outcome of the match.

“I agree you should be able to do that, but that’s not what’s happening,” Schrauth said.

What is happening, he said, is officials being forced to eject players, coaches and parents well after the game has ended because animosity built up during the game carries on after the final whistle. Officials are made to feel unsafe. With those realities on the table, one would be hard-pressed not to support a policy that encourages an official to get out of Dodge.

“We want to promote sportsmanship, but we don’t want to create a situation where something is going to happen,” Schrauth said.

On Monday night, the handshake (or lack thereof) occurred somewhere in no man’s land. The officiating trio were on the field, standing together and near enough to both teams that Wyatt’s effort seemed reasonable. They weren’t packing to leave; they looked as if they were monitoring the interaction of two teams that had just wrapped up a highly charged contest.

Their proximity made it all the more lamentable when the offer of the handshake was declined, albeit politely.

I support Schrauth and NCS and CIF administrators’ effort to keep officials safe. But it pains me a bit to think that instead of pushing for our athletes, coaches and parents to do better, we are putting in place practices that simply avoid making people accountable. We are robbing athletes of a prime opportunity to handle adversity and process disappointment.

I’d argue a handshake isn’t creating a situation. A screwed-up attitude and twisted take on competition is creating a situation. A handshake should diffuse, not escalate.

Rather than ask our officials to step back, maybe we are better served if we ask athletes, and ourselves, to step up.

You can reach staff columnist Kerry Benefield at 707-526-8671 or kerry.benefield@pressdemocrat.com, on Twitter @benefield and on Instagram at kerry.benefield.