Dear Abby: Boss shrugs off concerns about raunchy talk
Dear Abby: My husband works with a group of men who often become vulgar in their conversations. My husband was raised to have respect and dignity, so he is uncomfortable with it. The men discuss their wives and girlfriends in explicit detail. Some of them have daughters. It is just insane! Would they want someone talking about their daughters like that?!
My husband tries to ignore it or change the subject. Although he gets stressed about it, he can't go to the boss because his boss chimes in. The boss once said, “Oh, it's just men talking.” My husband finds the whole thing disrespectful. He could go to human resources, but he's not sure he should. What should he do?
- Uncomfortable in Wyoming
Dear Uncomfortable: Your husband should not have to be subjected to conversations in the workplace that make him uncomfortable. He should have spoken up when it first happened. And he should still make his feelings known and bow out of these interactions. If HR in that company is strong enough to institute some rules that will be respected, he should alert someone there to the uncomfortable work environment in his department.
Dear Abby: This may seem a bit crazy. While out to dinner with friends, I noticed a ring on my girlfriend's finger. My husband and I had traveled with them in Portugal last year. About the same time, I lost a ring that closely resembled the one my friend was wearing. What's the best way to ask her where she got it without sounding accusatory? The ring is unique, and I think it is mine. I look forward to your advice on handling this.
- Lost Ring Up North
Dear Lost Ring: Ask your friend if she “found” that lovely ring because it is similar to one you lost during that trip to Portugal. If she denies it, drop the subject unless you prefer to drop the friend.