Dear Abby: Son’s new playmate resides in a home with sex offender

Dear Abby: We moved to a new neighborhood. My 8-year-old son, “Joey,” has become best friends with a classmate, “Paul,” who lives on our street. We know from research we did when we bought our house that Paul’s stepfather, with whom he lives, is a sex offender who committed crimes against children and served time in prison.

Paul has been coming to our house most days, which is fine. However, both Paul and Joey have started asking whether Joey can go play at Paul’s house. I will never allow my son to play there. At some point, the boys will want an explanation, but I don’t think Paul knows about his stepfather’s past, and I don’t think Paul’s mother knows that I know.

If I tell Joey an age-appropriate version of the truth, I am sure he will tell Paul. I don’t think this is how Paul should hear about his stepfather’s past. Do you have any advice?

— Conflicted in the West

Dear Conflicted: Your concern that Joey might tell Paul about his stepfather is laudable. A way to handle it would be to continue insisting that the boys play only at your house. I do think you should discuss this with Paul’s mother.

Dear Abby: I’ve been married for eight years. I love my wife with my heart and soul. The problem is, although I’m in love with her, I still love my ex-wife. I never expressed these feelings toward my ex until recently. I write to her and call her, hoping she will answer. I don’t want to leave my wife because she’s a good woman. What can I do?

Every time my wife and I have a disagreement, I start thinking about my ex and what life would’ve been like if I had stayed with her. I know my ex still loves me, although she won’t come out and say it. Is it OK to be in love with one and still love the other?

— Lots of Love in Florida

Dear Lots: You say you “know” your ex-wife still loves you although she won’t come out and say it, nor does she answer your passionate letters. I’d say her refusal to communicate sends a pretty strong message that she doesn’t feel the way you do.

I don’t know what is wrong in your current marriage, but if you don’t stop pining over the wife you dumped, you are going to lose this one, too. Counseling may help you accomplish this.