North Bay support groups provide community for adults with autism

Recent statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimate that 1 in 45 American adults is living with autism.

While every case of autism is different, the neurodevelopmental disorder generally impairs a person’s ability to interact and communicate, meaning that social interactions and interpersonal relationships can be difficult and isolating.

Thankfully, opportunities for connection among autistic individuals are on the rise. Here in the Bay Area, several organizations and efforts are helping autistic adults find camaraderie, resources, and support. Some of the groups are based here in Sonoma County; another nonprofit in San Francisco has members in Wine Country and beyond.

The result: A growing community of autistic adults supporting each other.

April is Autism Acceptance Month across the country and it’s especially important to recognize these efforts, according to Bird Sellergren, founder and executive director of the Bay Area Autism Collective .

“When autistic people support each other through shared experiences, we become stronger and more capable,” said Sellergren, who is autistic.

Sellergren, 47, has become one of the faces of regional autism-affirming support work. She started the collective in June 2023 when she realized there weren’t many organizations specifically serving autistic adults.

Today, the group serves about 150 people each month.

One of the ways Sellergren’s group serves its members is through a weekly online support group by and for adults with autism. The group meets every Sunday from 7 to 8 p.m.

Each session draws an average of 25 to 30 participants from all over the Bay Area — and sometimes beyond. Several of the group regulars are from Sonoma and Napa counties.

The group is free, but registration is required.

On any given Sunday, participants might talk about such issues as, managing feelings of social isolation, finding services, navigating relationship drama, and the challenges of advocating for accommodations at work.

BAAC runs other groups for autistic adults battling substance abuse problems, transgender adults with autism, and autistic individuals who happen to also be parents.

Members said they view these sessions as safe spaces to be their true selves — a rarity in a world where autistic individuals often feel the need to “mask” to fit in.

Sellergren added that the groups help combat depression; a peer-reviewed meta-analysis from 2019 indicated autistic adults are four times more likely than allistic adults to experience depression.

“While I do have non-autistic relationships that are wonderful, I have found I feel safer with autistic people and it’s much less stressful in the sense that I don’t have to spend as much time wondering what the subtext is about and what they mean and what they want,” Sellergren said. “Without community, the future for us looks different.”

Rohnert Park resident Derek Hearthtower, who is autistic, has been cultivating similar efforts in Sonoma County.

For years Hearthtower led North Bay Autistics and Allies, a support group that, like Sellergren’s, was run by autistic adults for autistic adults.

Its members met in person every month at the downtown Santa Rosa branch of the Sonoma County Library, and later got together at the Sonoma County Peace & Justice Center.

But, due to declining membership, the North Bay group disbanded earlier this year.

Since then, the 42-year-old Hearthtower has explored other autistic-affirming groups around the North Bay.

He has checked in with health care providers such as Kaiser Permanente and Sutter Health about offerings for individuals with autism. He also has investigated autism-oriented nonprofits as far away as Solano County. So far, nothing local to Sonoma County has been a good fit.

“There are groups but there aren’t a lot of groups that are autistic-led,” he said. “When you are an autistic person and you’re looking to connect with other autistic people, it’s really important to find a group that’s run by people who fundamentally understand what it’s like to be autistic and what you might be going through.”

Hearthtower said he is considering starting a new group for autistic adults.

In the meantime, one of the resources Hearthtower has leaned on is Common Ground Society.

This Santa Rosa-based nonprofit bills itself as a disability services organization, and it aims to serve individuals of all ages with disabilities and special needs of all kinds, including autism.

Founder and Executive Director Larkin O’Leary said the group currently offers two support services for autistic adults: a speaker series through which autistic lecturers teach adults and teens with disabilities about the resources in Sonoma County, and a new program through which autistic and non-autistic volunteers work with adults and teens with disabilities on practicing good hygiene.

O’Leary, who is not autistic, noted that the hygiene program was created to satisfy a specific need that was communicated to Common Ground from the autism community.

“When a family member is more highly impacted by their autism in specific ways, they may need different accommodations to live life as independently as possible,” she said. “That is why we learn from autistic adults about what those needs might be.”