Straight Talk: My BFF started dating my secret crush

DEAR STRAIGHT TALK: I liked this guy for about two months. The very day I had the courage to tell him, my best friend announced they’d been secretly dating and were making their relationship public. I’m happy for them, yet sad I hadn’t shared my feelings. This was a month ago, and now I’m attracted to the guy’s friend. But I’m not actually sure if I like him - or if he likes me. Is this a rebound thing? And how do I deal with seeing them EVERY SINGLE DAY? - Rave, 16, Lansing, Mich.

Lyric, 17, Santa Rosa: My ex started dating one of my best friends. It was really uncomfortable and I started liking his best friend. I wasn’t sure if I actually liked him or was trying to distract myself either. Thank goodness, nothing happened between us. It would’ve just hurt us both. Take your time. There are plenty of guys out there. Plus, nothing’s wrong with being single.

Icis, 16, Detroit: You are an excellent friend. Most teenagers would’ve held a grudge against their friend for a crime they never knew they committed. You awarded your best friend her title for a reason and being able to talk about anything is part of that. I suggest confessing your truth. Not like, “You stabbed me!” but more like, “Wow, this is what happened.” Easing those wicked emotions off your chest will help you breathe and give you clarity regarding the rebound.

Justin, 17, Brentwood: My honest recommendation: Avoid high school relationships altogether. The short relationship I was in netted only negativity, hate and awkward situations. Stay young, enjoy your friends, study hard for college. Avoid boys for now and I promise you peace. We grow up too quickly and miss out on a lot of fun.

Elle, 19, Mifflintown, Penn.: This probably is the ego’s way of soothing your bruises. Be happy for your friend, move on from the first guy, play it safe with the second, and you’ll come out okay. In high school, things get turned into soap operas. Remember, only a minuscule percentage of high school relationships actually last. The “one” is probably down the road. No matter what, stay classy.

Gark, 24, San Francisco: Wait for things to develop. You’ll prevent serious drama and have time to sort out your feelings. Silver lining: Transitioning to a secondary crush means the clouds are lifting.

Shel, 17, Pleasanton: Test things by asking the new guy to hang out. Or try this: Text several boys and girls (independently), on a Saturday morning about plans for the next day, or with a question likely to get a lot of responses. Immediately turn off your phone for 2-3 hours. When you turn it back on and watch the messages roll in, you’ll be especially excited by someone’s response or extremely disappointed by someone’s absence. I accidentally did this from camp and it helped put things in perspective.

Stephanie, 23, Calistoga: That you’re even asking shows your intelligence. Rebounding is a common Band-Aid, but we hurt others when our feelings aren’t 100 percent. Slow down and check in with yourself. What do you actually like about this boy? Take a little space from boy #1 and your bestie to clear your feelings. Is there someone else you trust talking to? Or try journaling - it saved me big time at your age. I promise there will be many more crushes ahead. You got this, girl!

DEAR RAVE: While most panelists think this is a rebound (I agree), there are good tips here for testing the waters before jumping to distractions. A new activity and a new haircut are much better ways to go. - Lauren

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