‘It’s about connections’ says Windsor neighborhood group

It was March 2020, and the pandemic had forced Sonoma County residents to shelter at home.

Neighbors who lived on a street called Lisa Court in Elsbree Estates in East Windsor were freaking out.

“At the very beginning, COVID was on everybody’s mind,” said Bob Henry, 78, a longtime Windsor resident who moved to the neighborhood with his wife, Betty, six years ago. “Even from our county health manager it wasn’t clear what you could do. Could you drive? You could buy food, we knew that. There was a real need for contact.”

“All of our social communities were breaking down,” said resident Mike Van Grouw, 58. “Work, church, sometimes sports.”

Neighbors had already had one friendly celebration after the Tubbs Fire in 2017 when their gas was being turned back on by PG&E and they could once again take hot showers. After COVID struck, Van Grouw mentioned to neighbor Mark Gobert — a sociable guy considered the street’s “mayor” — that “we should do that again.” And the Friday group, later to be named the Upper Lisa Court group, or ULC, was born. ULC would eventually adorn the custom wine glasses they all pitched in to buy.

The weekly get-togethers in their neighborhood cul-de-sac have turned into a fun end-of-the-week time to blow off steam. It also has led to close friendships that Van Grouw and Henry say are the best neighborhood relationships they’ve ever experienced. Many said they can’t imagine living anywhere else or not knowing their neighbors.

“It brought meaning to being neighbors again like it was when we grew up,” said Henry. “Some good things came out of COVID. We formed friendships during the challenge and we are better for it.”

“We definitely drink wine and eat food, but that’s only part of it,” Van Grouw said. “The best thing is the connections we make.”

After someone volunteered to go door to door collecting neighbors’ cellphone numbers to create a texting list, they decided on a date and began attending from a distance. They set up chairs and brought their own wine, cheese and bread, usually at about 4 or 5 p.m.

“We would all just kind of wave at our neighbors from our driveways at first,” said Van Grouw, who worked as a software engineer for Keysight Technologies in Santa Rosa at the time and has lived at Lisa Court with his family for 22 years. He said he had an “ominous feeling” that COVID was going to be a lot worse than people expected after there was a known exposure at his work and “we were told to gather our stuff and leave.”

“It was sad when we were all home in our PJs watching TV” after the pandemic hit, said Martha Hernandez, 56, an original 1996 homebuyer who works in real estate with her husband, Rick, 60. He was making tacos and quesadillas at a recent Friday event. “So having this 5 o’clock gathering really got you through the week.”

In the beginning and for much of the first year, most of their conversation was about COVID and how to deal with it. As time went by, they began inching their chairs closer, wearing masks and taking turns going to a central table with food, using their own utensils. But chat about what was going on in their lives would seep in.

Group organizers — Henry is described as “the glue” of the group — said as many as 18 but usually about 10-14 people come each week. Van Grouw estimated that 80% — 90% of residents attend.

Members skew older, with most people either being retired or having children in college. But there are younger couples, too. Shawnee, 45, a medical aesthetician and Joe Easton, 46, a PG&E equipment operator, said they come when they can.

“We’re one of the few who work full time,” Shawnee said. “If it’s too hot, Bob invites us into his backyard, where they have a pool and it’s shaded.”

After they all received their vaccinations, things loosened up a bit, but they remained cautious.

“A helicopter would fly over and groups weren’t supposed to be gathering, and we’d say ‘Oh, we’re busted,’ ” said Kristi Van Grouw, 58, Mike’s wife, who works in health sales, at the same event earlier this month featuring tacos, wine and margaritas.

“My daughter calls us ‘a pretty boujee group,’ ” a hip-hop slang term meaning luxurious in lifestyle, but humble in character, according to the Urban Dictionary, she said, laughing. “The whole neighborhood got closer,” she said

The neighbor friends now work out a menu by Wednesday, usually with Henry coordinating the group. Someone will offer to bring a tri-tip, and someone else will bring baked potatoes and so forth, Henry said. He has purchased lottery tickets for the group, who reimbursed him, said Trang Kramer, 56, a kindergarten teacher.

“We are all planning a trip to Italy together or somewhere if we win,” she said.

They also celebrate birthdays and held a contest to choose the ULC logo for their wine glasses. Occasionally they go out socially.

During the pandemic, Van Grouw took a job with another Keysight group in Colorado, mostly working from home.

“We were going to move, but one of the reasons we decided to stay was the Friday group,” he said.

“People don’t talk about the difficulties they are going through, but I know people who have cancer, I know people who had surgery,” he said. “If there was another fire like the Kincade Fire “that came right up to our doorsteps, we would text and … make sure nobody is left behind. I don’t think I could leave knowing someone was still here.”

You can reach Staff Writer Kathleen Coates at kathleen.coates@pressdemocrat.com or 707-521-5209.