Pandemic creates new challenges for families moving into Sonoma County

Much of the past year may have bled together like a calendar full of Groundhog Days, but Jason and Mandy Flynn still remember March 17, 2020, with utter clarity. They were shopping at Big John’s Market in Healdsburg when everyone’s phones began buzzing at once. Sonoma County had issued a 14-day stay-home order for all residents in an effort to combat the ominous virus that was beginning to sweep the globe.

The ensuing coronavirus pandemic has negatively impacted approximately 100% of the people you know, but it has been especially hard on those passing through major transitions — kindergartners about to start “big girl classes,” high school and college freshmen eager to fit it, newlyweds beginning a shared life.

And people searching for the embrace of a new home.

That was the Flynns, who had moved from South Dakota to Sonoma County with their 2-year-old son, Declan, in November 2019, and had closed on a house in Windsor just two months before the shelter order. The Flynns began 2020 in the spirit of reinvention, and it didn’t seem to matter much when it was put on hold by Jason’s extended business trip.

“I’m like, ‘OK, well, he’ll be home at the end of February. And then we’ll be able to go out, and we’ll get Declan involved in some things, meet some parents and our neighbors, go to some stuff at the Town Green,’” said Mandy Flynn, 32. “And then none of it happened. So now here we are a year and a half later, and we still just know a handful of people that live out here.”

The Flynns had not moved to Sonoma County on a whim. When Jason’s employer told him he could live anywhere in the country — he manages the sensors on flights for the aerial mapping company Fugro — he and Mandy took a hard look at what they wanted. Their answers were more access to cities and expanded educational horizons for Declan. And yeah, some hills and ocean breezes wouldn’t hurt.

“There’s much more opportunity out here,” said Jason Flynn, 43. “We had limited experiences growing up in South Dakota.”

The couple had been taking vacations to Sonoma County for several years. They were married at Simi Winery in 2015. This is what they wanted.

After some fits and starts, they found a house they could afford and love in Windsor. By the time life began to contract here, Mandy had made one close friend at work. But the Flynns hadn’t had much chance to weave themselves into the surrounding community.

To some extent, they still haven’t. Declan has met other kids in day care, but hasn’t been able to do play dates or rec sports. The Flynns haven’t explored restaurants and tasting rooms, haven’t mixed much with neighbors or bonded at parties.

“You get to know people through casual conversation, and through friends of friends,” Mandy said. “But without the ability to do that, it definitely has to be more intentional. But how do you do that when there’s no opportunity? Now everybody’s scared to be close to anybody. You can’t just have a regular conversation.”

The Flynns have no babysitter, and nowhere really to go if they did. They haven’t had a date night in a year and a half. Year One in Sonoma County has been especially isolating for Mandy, who has worked from home as a CPA for Mengali Accountancy since before the original stay-home order.

It hasn’t been easy for Declan, either. His day care center was closed for the entire month of April. He really misses his grandparents and cousin, and for much of the early pandemic he couldn’t pass a park without pleading to climb on the playground equipment, undeterred as he was by the yellow caution tape.

“Finally, he got so used to it he was like, ‘Is it closed ’cause of rona?’” Mandy recalled.

She isn’t afraid to admit she’s had serious second thoughts about moving out here. Especially with family back home rolling their eyes about Californians and their obsession with masks and coronavirus testing. (Both of Mandy’s parents got COVID.)

The Flynns have coped with family hikes and trips to the beach. Mandy did socially distanced meetups with her friend, and the couple joined Zoom happy hours with friends back in Rapid City. They’re sick of it, though. Mandy wants to get dressed up, go to a warm restaurant and sit down for a meal. Jason would love to take Declan to Monterey Bay Aquarium. They are ready to make those long-awaited spontaneous connections.

And now, for the first time in a year, it feels like that may be about to happen. The Flynns just signed up Declan for soccer. He starts in April, the month he turns 4. And falling virus case rates and the promise of vaccinations make them hopeful for what lies ahead. If anything, their visions of life in Wine Country might have gotten bigger.

“It’s going to be better than it probably would have been,” Mandy Flynn said. “Now that we can meet people and have those opportunities, it will feel even better.”

The Flynns may finally feel they belong in Sonoma County, as soon as the place isn’t closed ’cause the rona.

You can reach Phil Barber at 707-521-5263 or phil.barber@pressdemocrat.com. On Twitter @Skinny_Post.

3 questions with the Flynns

Q: What was the moment when you realized the seriousness of the pandemic — that life would be very different moving forward?

A: (Jason): “Mine is still the first moment we’re in the grocery store when the stay-at-home order came out. Everyone’s phone in the store went off at the same time. ‘OK, this is real.’”

Q: What's your most vivid memory from the last year? Is there a particular moment that stands out?

A (Amanda): “Mine is probably the month that Declan was home. To try to work full-time and manage him full-time, we would take like two-hour shifts each to try to get our stuff done without causing too much chaos or interruption.”

Q: Has anything good come out of the pandemic — something that you will continue doing after the pandemic is over?

A (Jason): “I think the amount of time that we got to spend with Declan at home. That one-on-one time with him. He did become very clingy. But that’s time we’d never get back. We got to really bond with him big-time.”