Tom Siebe, former Sonoma County chief deputy coroner, remembered for compassion he brought to job

Tom Siebe was a son of Sonoma County who for much of his professional life worked with death, and with people suddenly agonized by the loss of loved ones.

Down-to-earth and amiable, Siebe wore a badge as a stalwart of the Sheriff’s Office coroner’s division. He was renowned and frequently commended for the humanity he brought to work that routinely involved knocking on doors to deliver the worst news anyone could receive.

Siebe died at his and his wife Carol’s Petaluma home on March 23 amid a siege of cancer. He was 74.

A 1965 graduate of Petaluma High School, the officially named Norman Thomas Siebe was 22 when then-Sheriff John Ellis swore him in as a deputy in 1969. Siebe worked patrol, generally in the greater Petaluma area, until 1976.

He transferred then to the coroner’s unit. As a coroner’s investigator, he took on the responsibility to respond to and launch inquiries into homicides, fatal traffic crashes and other accidental deaths, overdoses, suicides and many natural deaths not overseen by a physician.

He took to work that most others would avoid, friends and relatives said, because he wanted to be of help to people.

He also appreciated the science involved in death investigations and he’d discovered while he and his older brother, Ron, worked odd jobs as teens at Sorensen’s funeral home that he could be around dead bodies. Ron Siebe, who’s now living in Placer County, went on to become a career mortician.

In 1988, Tom Siebe was promoted from coroner’s investigator to chief deputy coroner, the top job in the division under the elected sheriff.

He was a gentle man, a connoisseur of corny jokes, whose daily routine required that he show up at death scenes that most people wouldn’t care to imagine, remove the body or bodies, and prepare to as gently as possible break the terrible news to the victims’ survivors.

“I’ve broken down and cried with them,” Siebe told The Press Democrat in 1994, when he transferred out of the coroner’s division after a run of 18 years.

“It was so rewarding, to be able to help grieving, hurt families,” he said. For the most part, he said, “You walk away and deal with your feelings later.”

Over the course of a several historically abysmal days in Sonoma County in April of 1989, Siebe had to inform Cathy Toovey of Sonoma Valley that her husband, Grand Cru winemaker Tracy Toovey, 35, had been claimed in a mass murder, and tell Bob Richards of Cotati that also slain were his wife, Marion Richards, 47; all three of his daughters, Angela Salcido, 24; Ruth Richards, 12, and Marie, 8, and two of his granddaughters, Sofia, 4, and Teresa Salcido, nearly 2.

The sister of Sofia and Teresa, nearly 3-year-old Carmina, miraculously survived a slashed throat, and Kunde Estate Vineyards winery supervisor Ken Butti, 33, survived a gunshot.

Later convicted and sentenced to death for the killings was Ramon Salcido, who was kin to most of the victims and a co-worker of Toovey and Butti.

Salcido, Siebe told the Press Democrat in 2014, “was a point of true evil.”

Retired sheriff’s captain Mike Brown worked alongside Siebe in many homicide investigations, including the one focused on Ramon Salcido, who’s now been on Death Row at San Quentin State Prison for 32 years.

“Tom was the perfect person for that work,” Brown said.

“When he was dealing with the friends and family of people who had passed away, he treated them all with dignity and compassion. He was the consummate professional.”

Brown said Siebe was of tremendous help to him and to other detectives assigned to investigate homicides or suspicious deaths.

“He had seen so many of them, and he had learned something from each one.”

Siebe was 41 and had been with the Sheriff’s Office for nearly 20 years when he left the coroner’s division in 1994. He returned to patrol as a sergeant, then finished out his career transporting inmates to prisons and other locations, and working courtroom security.

He retired in 2003 after 34 years, and he took with him innumerable memories sweet and ghastly — and also a seriously damaged back that had pained him since he took a fall while recovering a body from the Sonoma Coast.

In his free time, Siebe savored music, theater, the outdoors and leisure time with his wife, children and grandchildren.

Carol Siebe, who was aware of her future husband while both attended Petaluma High but didn’t date him until after graduation, recalled that as a student he’d been involved in drama. And he loved to sing.

“He had a beautiful voice,” she said, adding, “If ‘Les Misérables’ or ‘Phantom of the Opera’ were in San Francisco, we were there.”

Her husband’s service to the community included the six years as a trustee of the Wilmar Union School District.

Tom and Carol Siebe’s 52nd wedding anniversary was March 21. The retired deputy was near death that day, and as his final act asked his daughter, Meredith Leask of Petaluma, to pick up a little something as an anniversary gift for her mom. She did.

“I didn’t want him to die on our anniversary,” said Carol, who grew up in greater Petaluma’s Corda dairy family and is now a retired teacher. Her husband held on for two days after their special day.

In addition to his wife and daughter in Petaluma and his brother in Lincoln, Siebe is survived by his son, David Siebe of Novato; sisters Joanne Siebe of Lake Oswego, Oregon, and Mary Siebe of Timnath, Colorado, and two grandchildren.

At Siebe’s request, there will be no services.

His family suggests memorial contributions to the Petaluma High School Athletic Boosters Club, 201 Fair St., Petaluma 94952, or the Petaluma Education Foundation, www.pefinfo.com/donation, or 200 Douglas St., Petaluma 94952.