Padecky: No place in football for Jon Gruden or his slurs

Sometime Tuesday afternoon, the impossible happened. Jacksonville Jaguars coach Urban Meyer was no longer the most embarrassing, most humiliated coach in the NFL. Jon Gruden replaced Meyer as America’s Most Yucky and what an accomplishment that was. Meyer, a married grandfather, was caught on camera at his restaurant getting a lap dance from a young woman.

Golly, Gruden has to be thinking right now, I wish I was trying to defend a lap dance. It’s a momentary stray for Meyer but a lifetime of shame for Gruden, as he will spend the rest of his unemployable existence in a mountain log cabin somewhere, wearing a mask whether COVID is around or not.

This isn’t a fall from grace. This is a nosedive at 500 mph, Gruden screaming all the way, knowing he was the one who cut the engine. It wasn’t hearsay when we learned Gruden had denigrated women, gay people, Black people, the current president, former players — I’ll give you time to catch your breath — anyone exercising their right to free speech, the NFL commissioner ...

Stories are still coming out and what a smelly treasure cove this promises to be, a bottomless pit of stink. We suspect that when this is all over, we’ll come to the conclusion that the only person Jon Gruden truly likes is ... Jon Gruden.

“I never meant to hurt anyone,” Gruden said.

I believe him. That’s because Gruden never felt what he said was offensive. After all, this is what people think, at least the people he hangs with. Gruden was so convinced this was an unassailable truth he put it all down in emails. Apparently it cost too much to rent a skywriting airplane.

Caught with a red face, a sports celebrity frequently will use the following dodges: “I was misquoted” ... “It was taken out of context” ... “I was drunk. I don’t even remember saying that” ... “The media never liked me” ... “People always make things up about me because they are jealous” ... “She was a gold digger.”

Barry Sanders in the open field didn’t have as many elusive moves. Gruden? He can’t move. His feet are in concrete.

Every NFL coach is married to his job. Gruden is now married to his emails. They will be with him every second of every day for the rest of his life. He can’t claim what he really meant because there is no room for interpretation.

In the process, Gruden spit on the Oakland-Los Angeles-Las Vegas Raiders.

The late Al Davis hired Amy Trask in 1997, the first woman CEO in NFL history. Now in the private sector, Trask might have something to say of the photos Gruden sent of women wearing only bikini bottoms.

Al hired Art Shell as the modern NFL’s first Black coach. Art will have a little talking-to with Gruden. Actually, it will be a one-way conversation, as Art won’t give a damn about why Gruden said DeMaurice Smith, head of the NFLPA, has “rubber lips.”

Raiders defensive end Carl Nassib is the NFL’s first openly gay active player. Gruden called NFL commissioner Roger Goodell a “f---ot” for urging then-St. Louis Rams coach Jeff Fisher to draft a “q---r.” That would have been Michael Sam in 2014. Will Gruden have the courage to speak to Nassib now?

Demeaning women, gay people and Black people, Gruden hit the trifecta, the trifecta that didn’t win but loses. That Gruden has yet to be found to disparage Latinos and Asians is maybe only a matter of time. Apparently there’s a move afoot to find and examine even more Gruden emails. The man was so blatant people quite naturally are curious if there’s more.

Curious indeed to who is on the other end of those emails? Gruden must have known who was on the other end of those emails, confident they were at least sympathetic if not in total agreement with his views.

Was it other coaches? Owners? Players? NFL officials? How far does this go? Is this the beginning of Grudengate? A reckoning? When America’s favorite sport undergoes a cultural seismic shift? Will the league, spurred by a fan base that feels insulted, finally become inclusive and not just a well-insulated money grab?

Give or take any given Sunday, 70% of NFL players are Black. Yet, only three of 32 head coaches are Black. Only two of 32 general managers, only one in 32 is a president of football operations.

All those numbers point to an inescapable and undeniable conclusion: White man Jon Gruden cannot be the only person in the NFL who share these views. Are they are as stupid as Gruden to put such swill in an email? Probably not. Are they running for cover right now? Most certainly.

Gruden resigned in quick order. Obvious. Not much explanation needed. The burden of proof now is on the league. If this is treated as a one-and-done deal — a long-standing and effective NFL strategy — nothing will come of this other than a disgraced ex-NFL coach living in a mountain cabin.

Gruden? His future has been defined. He’s poison. He’ll never get another coaching job. He won’t even be a head coach in Pop Warner. No NFL team will have the temerity to say Gruden has learned his lesson. Gruden is 58 years old. He’s not a child to be schooled. He is who his emails say he is. Sensitivity training is for those capable of being sensitive. Clearly Gruden steamed past that virtue a long time ago, if he ever was.

Gruden won’t be sought to give his secrets on leadership, nor will he be asked to how to make a winner. True, Gruden won a Super Bowl, but that was 19 years ago. But he has a 117-112 career coaching record. The Gruden Raiders in Las Vegas are 22-31.

Gruden should spend the rest of his days quietly, away from microphones and reporters. He has nothing to offer now, except possibly, going from training camp to training camp, telling players what happens to someone who is a racist, a misogynist, a homophobe.

Gruden can’t even be “Chucky” anymore, that strangely charismatic coach who didn’t walk the sideline as much as he stalked the sideline, scowling, grimacing, his glare in a knot. How cute it was, those squinting eyes. We thought Gruden was playing for the cameras.

Maybe Gruden wasn’t playing at all. Maybe he was releasing.

To comment write to bobpadecky@gmail.com.