Loved ones remembered at Healdsburg rose garden

Notes delicately tied to a persimmon tree fluttered and tangled together in the wind Sunday in the luscious garden of the Russian River Rose Co., much to the delight of owner Jan Tolmasoff.

That’s because the persimmon tree transforms over Memorial Day weekend into a memorial wishing tree, a tradition Tolmasoff started a decade ago. Visitors of the three-day “memories and tea” event write notes on small tags and tie them to the tree with ribbon to honor veterans and family members who have died, as well as express their hopes and dreams for the world.

While some attend parades or visit cemeteries to honor fallen soldiers, Tolmasoff, who has lived on the property just south of downtown Healdsburg for over 40 years, said she hopes the memorial wishing tree provides a joyous and moving experience.

“I come out in the evening and sit and watch the tags. It’s very meaningful,” said Tolmasoff, who owns the Russian River Rose Co. with her husband, Michael.

Kathy Doran, a Sebastopol teacher, has come to the rose garden for more than 15 years. When her mother died in 2013, Doran began writing her notes and tying them to the memorial tree. She said she visits regularly for the gracious hosts and beautiful surroundings.

“This whole place is filled with love,” Doran said.

Crystal Cox of Santa Rosa visited the rose garden with her adult son, Ricky Dos Santos, for the first time on Sunday. Raindrops graced rose petals in full bloom, while Cox wrote a brief note to her mother who died, telling her she missed and loved her.

“She’d love this. Roses were her favorite flower,” Cox said of her mother.

“It’s a beautiful idea,” Cox added about the memorial tree in the garden.

Although she misses her mother, Cox said writing the note and thinking of her mother made her happy. “We don’t have many holidays that respect the dead, except for Día de los Muertos,” she said.

In his note, Dos Santos told his grandma that he’d remember to feed the hummingbirds for her. Connecting with the dead helps to “remember who you are,” Dos Santos said.

By the end of the Memorial Day weekend, Tolmasoff said there’s usually about 300 notes tied to the persimmon tree. The notes stay up for about a month, and she reads them before they’re buried in a circle of irises that surround the tree.

“To all the souls that sacrifice their lives, may God grant them peace,” one note read. Another one, to a loved one gone: “Wishing you the sweetest goodbye.”

The “memories and tea” event will continue through 5 p.m. Monday. Writer A.L. Whyte will perform a poetry reading at 11 a.m. and 2 p.m. Monday in the rose garden.

You can reach Staff Writer Susan Minichiello at 707-521-5216 or susan.minichiello@pressdemocrat.com. On Twitter @susanmini.